Thursday, December 13, 2012

"what it meant to me will eventually be a memory"

I was given an assignment last night. I am to write a blog post about my high school. Something engaging that will make everyone want to read what I have to write. So I thought to myself, "Self, what are you going to write about?" Of course nothing came to me, so I figured I could come here and actually write a real blog post and perhaps that would inspire me to come up with some witty, wonderful school appropriate blog post to send in.

And what do you know, it worked! Now I'm currently in the process of writing two blog posts. I certainly hope I can create a unique enough voice that makes me stand out as candidate for this job, and still uniform enough to work for a school blog. I would just die if I got this job! A happy, healthy, wonderful death! After which, of course, I would be revived so I could actually do the job.

I guess you probably would like to know what the job is, right? Well, I'm applying for a Social Media Manager position. If you're thinking, "Sage, that's perfect for you! You already want to go into marketing and what better way than to market online. Plus you're such a fabulous blogger, it would be super easy to translate that into this job," then you are absolutely correct! I'm hoping my blogging skills and life long usage of social media will be my ticket back to Cali.

Seriously guys, I really want this. And I've really wanted a lot of things in my life, but I just want this one more. I hope I don't end up really disappointed. I know I'll be fine either way. Don't get my hopes too high now.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

"i've got a world of chances for you"

I took a chance and put in a job application with my high school back in California. I've been saying that I need to start looking for a new job for a while now, so I guess this is my start. I don't necessarily want to move back to CA, but I have absolutely no problem moving back either. I welcome leaving or staying. I think there are a lot of opportunities available to me here in Atlanta and back home in California. I just need that foot in the door with a new job to jumpstart me again.

I take a lot of time to come here and rant and rave about my irritations regarding my life, my job, my family, my friends, my loves, (or lack there of). And its those moments that really propel me to the next.  I couldn't move on and be happy with my life if I didn't first let go of everything that bothers me while I live it. Most of my anger is fleeting. Most of my annoyance is short lived. A lot of my emotions are reoccurring, but isn't everyone like that? Every once in a while you may see a really hateful, maybe even downright bitchy post of mine that will make you say, "Whoa! Wtf happened to her?!" But rest assured I'm fine. I probably got over whatever issue pissed me off the second I typed the last exclamation point in my post.

So with that being said, I can't wait to really see what new job grabs my attention next. I always love meeting new challenges. Speaking of which, I've gone back to the challenge of online dating. Yes, I know, I've done this before. But it was so fun (and I'm just bored enough) that I decided to try it again. Wish me luck!

Friday, November 2, 2012

"and stop crying your heart out"

So I had a mini explosion with my manager the other day.

I've been holding in my anger towards my work schedule for the last... well I guess the last year. We used to be able to service a client and then go home when there were no more clients.

But now, the new rule for stylists is that we must stay from 10 to 6 regardless of if there are clients are not. Mind you I ONLY get paid when I service a client. So if there are no clients, I get no money. (We don't take walk ins, so we know the day's schedule before it begins.) And now they want me to sit around in the salon when there are no clients? For what? I'm basically wasting gas money to sit and watch paint peel. No thank you.

But being the kind and gentle soul that I am, obviously, I held my irritation/anger in and said no problem. I'm just going to do my job and keep it moving. And keep it moving I did! Until yesterday.

My manager is a stylist and really has no other duties outside of being a stylist, except maybe payroll. Supposedly, we should all be following the same set of rules. But apparently she doesn't think she needs to show up when there are no clients. She feels its alright for her to leave after she services her last client. She has little "emergencies" every now and then that only seem to occur on days we have no clients. She has no issue coming late or leaving early whenever she feels like it. So of course I take major issue with this.

Yesterday I asked to leave work early because I had an appointment I needed to get to. There were no clients, it was really not a big deal. But for some unnecessary reason, she decided that I was "challenging her authority" and "disrespecting her." So of course I exploded and told her that every time I ask for time off I get denied. She gets to galavant around town, coming and going as she pleases, and then has the audacity to tell me that I'm challenging her authority by asking to leave early?

Sure, I may have phrased it as a statement instead of a question. Fine, I may have added a bit of sarcasm in there due to her disappearing acts. But honestly, what form of authority do you have? You think it's okay that I'm forced to sit around doing nothing and I don't even get paid by the hour, but you can go off and do whatever you like? No. It's not okay.

So, by this time, tears are streaming down my face. And that's when I realized, I get really emotional when I get in arguments. Especially when I've been holding crap in for the longest time. I was actually a little disappointed in myself for letting it get to me so.

I've been struggling with this job for so long I guess I just didn't realize everything would come out so strong. I'm really kinda mad at myself for crying like that because I feel like I may have come off not as strong as I would have liked to. In my head, in the moment, I felt like I was really expressing how angry I was. Thinking back on it and writing this post, I'm starting to wonder what I actually looked like. Standing there, crying about not being able to leave work early...

Hmm, may not have been my best moment.

Currently, we're not really talking to each other. Besides the usual 'good morning' and anything related to the job, we don't speak. I don't even look at her anymore. Everything about her irritates me. She's rude, she's self absorbed, she's power crazy, and she's extremely useless. Okay that last one may or may not be true. Personally, I think it's probably true. I could do her job way better than her. I'm serious. I've done it already. And I'm good at it.

Anyway, I need to learn how to not care about things, or at least not hold it inside for so long. That way I can have a rational, non emotional tear-free argument with these people about the kinks in their corporate system.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

"if you could just write me out"

I came to work this morning expecting more of the same as the last 2 weeks. Absolutely nothing. The Salon has been extremely slow these past couple weeks and it's really starting to agitate me. I hate coming to work and making no money.

Seriously, what's the purpose of working if I'm not getting paid. This is something my bosses don't quite seem to understand yet. I think they have some sort of idea that they have done me a favor by giving me a job and I should be grateful just to get out of the house everyday and sit in their salon.

They are sadly mistaken.

I would much rather stay in my house than drive 30 minutes away to do nothing. There are so many art projects I'm missing out on because I don't have the time any more to lounge around and wrap baskets, or cut cardboard, or glue some other shit. Which was completely fine with me when I was making money. But now, I may just need to get my ass back on that job search grind and find a new job.

Oddly enough, I really don't want to do that because I actually like my job. And I'm almost 100% certain that I'm the only one at The Salon who can say that honestly. I love being a stylist. It's awesome. What is NOT awesome is all the backstage, behind the scenes, "corporate" drama that goes on. I could totally do without all of that. I understand now why people leave their jobs simply because their supervisors SUCK.

But other than all that, my life is wonderful! Sorry I haven't written in months, but I think I can say I'm back now and so totally committed to blogging. I have enough ammo to last my blogging mind for a few weeks worth of posts anyway. Thanks for not leaving me during my short "vacation"!

Monday, August 27, 2012

"lick your lips as i soak my feet"

I find it extremely sickening that someone can waste their life procrastinating when very important, life altering events are coming soon. With that being said, I recently discovered a new TV show and I've fallen completely in love with it!

Well, not exactly a new show, just a show I've never seen before. The Secret Diary of a Call Girl. Now please know that I found this show completely by accident. I was actually trying to watch the Secret Life of the American Teenager, but before I could type in "Secret Life," it was offering up suggestions, one of which was "Secret Diary."

SO obviously my curiosity got the best of me and I just HAD to know what this show was all about. Secret Diary is all about the life of a London call girl. Set in London and filled with gorgeous accents, I was hooked from the first episode. Oh, yeah, and then of course there is the sex. Lots and lots of sex. And she loves her job. Completely loves it, can't get enough.

Until of course, she gets a boyfriend. Then it gets tricky. Because seriously, how do you tell the guy you're dating that you are a prostitute.

"Oh honey, I meant to tell you, I'm not actually a legal secretary. No, sweetie, I sleep with men for money. Would you like steak for dinner?"

It's a very well written show; funny, sexy, sometimes dirty. But never boring. I do love the glamorous twist they put on prostituting. It's not the disease filled, hanging on street corners, trashy life that is often portrayed. Instead, we get a glimpse into the world of high class escorting. Not to say that every escorts' life is as fabulous as Belle's, but I mean, the whole show is about fantasy after all.

And these are life issues I will never have to deal with. So why not indulge in someone else's life. Someone who's made their career from being every man's fantasy. It's quite the pull really. I don't see why more people don't know about this show. Then again, maybe they do. I am coming a bit late to the party.

Monday, July 30, 2012

"but just one night couldn't be so wrong"

Everyone has those few things that make them happy for no apparent reason other than "I just like it." Recently, I've been indulging in a few quite regularly and it's actually beginning to border on obsession. These little guilty pleasures of mine are seriously becoming a problem. Who ever said you can't have too much of a good thing?

I've always been an avid reader. I read anything really, but recently I've been honed in and focused on erotic romance books. I can't seem to put them down. And it really doesn't help matters much that I have a Nook and an endless supply of free books with Barnes and Noble. Honestly, I've read 5 books in the past 2 weeks and I'm still working on this last one. No matter how many stories I find, there is always a new way to make two people coming together fantastic. I'll keep by bookshelf below updated so you can know what I'm reading.

As much as I enjoy reading these books, if I don't slow down soon, I'm going to end up missing all the deadlines for my grad school applications. As much as I want to find out if Bryn will escape and find her way back to William, I can't keep reading non-stop. Oh, but I so wish I could. Especially now that I don't have cable anymore.

I just don't understand why one issue always has to replace another. Before, I was too transfixed on television to focus on anything. So I cancelled my cable, and now I can't stop reading books. I just need one simple outlet that won't turn into a full fledged obsession! I guess I've always been an obsessive kind of person. From books, to tv, to men, to friends, to family. I obsess, a LOT.

But it's adorable, I swear!

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

"you only did it cause i told you to"

So I'm trying to revive my cardboard furniture business that blossomed so well last year. You know, the year I was unemployed and had nothing to do with my life. Yeah, well, I'd like to go back and revisit that time in my life and see if I can't bring some of that creative genius into my present.

I've been steadily collecting pictures of different ideas I've seen and would love to recreate. Currently I have a half finished bookcase sitting my office that really needs my attention. But I also have new plans of gorgeous things to create. I just need more time in my life.

In the meantime, I've been really focused on taking the GMAT. The test is next week and I finally just took my first practice test. Got a 650! Which is actually really exciting for me. My goal is a 700, so I'm only a couple points short. I think I can make this happen.

ALSO, you all know about my search for a car. Well, I'm super happy to let you know that the epic search is finally over! I have a brand new car (okay, not BRAND new, but close enough)! I went with a car loan and I couldn't be happier. I love my car. I've named him Nico.

Monday, July 9, 2012

"burn the streets, burn the cars"

I'm still searching for a car. The great debate is whether I should settle and buy a car "in my budget" or stand firm and get the car I want. Biggest problem? Yeah, that would be money obviously. I've been looking on Craigslist and I've been to CarMax a few times. But I just can't get the idea out of my mind that I should get exactly what I want. 

So, I don't have $10,000 to spend on a car. That's what a car note is for! Banks finance these things, so why can't I just jump into debt and get a really pretty Toyota Camry or Nissan Altima? That's all I want really. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to find this car for less than $10,000. But I am going to a car auction tomorrow and I can only pray to Lord Jesus that I find my car there. Just waiting for me. Saying sweet things into the air, asking me to drive him home. But if I really look at my finances, I have about $5000 to spend on a car right now. SO if I can't find my car at the auction tomorrow, I'm going to have to say screw it and get a car note. 

However, if spend $10,000 on a car, I'm definitely going to have to get full coverage insurance and not the nonsense liability insurance I had before. I think a 2007 Camry or 2005 Altima is certainly going to warrant some serious insurance. Unfortunately, that just hikes up the price of my car some more. UGH!  

Honestly I just want a car that will last me the next 5 to 10 years. That's normal, right? I figure cars should last at LEAST that amount. 

I guess I should really think about just getting whatever I can get for now, because I really need a car to get to work. I just don't want to have to save up money again later to buy the car I really want. 

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

"don't charge me for the crime"

Monday I went to court to contest the 3 tickets I got after my accident last month. I thought I was just going to say, "Hey, I was not speeding." And the judge would say, "Overruled!" And then I would pay a fine, it would be over and I would never have to go to court again. But no, instead I get there and the judge says, "Can you afford a lawyer, or do you need one appointed to you?"

... Um, no thank you. I just want to pay my fine. So I said, "No, I don't want to go to trial." And the judge has the audacity to say, "That wasn't the question." Excuse me? Sir, you are very lucky this is my first time in a courtroom and I am extremely scared and nervous right now, otherwise I would have a lot more to say to you. So in my scared and nervous state, I ended up getting a public defender and I have a trial date set for September...

I don't understand what just happened. I mean I really just don't understand what just happened. First of all, why the hell am I going to court for some traffic tickets? Second, why the hell do I need a lawyer?? And third, what the hell just happened???

Is this normal procedure? Is this what happens when you get a traffic ticket? What am I supposed to do? Please someone just help me out because I am so confused right now. I just, I just... don't understand what's happening. Someone may just need to explain the entire justice system to me because something just doesn't make sense. Why can't I just pay my fine and go home?

In the meantime, I'm still looking for a car. And on the plus side, this accident has helped to rekindle my love interest with Sir. He keeps calling me to see how I'm doing, and you know I'm just a sucker for such caring attention. Probably because he feels the accident was his fault, but hey, I'll take it. I'll keep dreaming of him; maybe one day good things will happen for us. 

Meanwhile, I need to deal with this court nonsense. 

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

"so we've become so cinematic"

It's crazy how you can plan every moment of every second together and still not have everything you imagined in your mind. This past weekend was supposed to end wonderfully and be filled with loving goodness; but alas, all did not go according to plan.

So as you all know, Sir came to visit me this weekend. I picked him up from the airport, he stayed at my house, we hung out, caught up on each other's lives, I showed him around Atlanta. Wednesday, Thursday and Friday he was all mine. And I loved it. Saturday he was at his hotel and attended his greek events he came out here for. I figured I should see him one more time before he left, so I offered to drive him to the airport on Sunday.

Apparently that was a bad move.

I ended up in a car accident before I even picked him up. It was raining that morning, the steering wheel started shaking and the car wheels refused to follow where I turned. So instead of turning as I should have, the car continued to drive straight and started sliding in the rain. I hit the wall on the side of the road and my car flipped over. Sitting in the car, upside down, I found a way to crawl out the window (yay for seat belts!). Unfortunately, my phone flew out of the car along with my iPod and purse. The paramedics recovered my purse but the phone and iPod were still missing.

I'm surprised to have gotten out of the car without a scratch on me. I went to the hospital just to get checked out; my only injuries were a bump on the head and scratch on my finger. Thank you, Jesus. Well, my car is gone, my phone is gone, (I later went back to the site of the crash to look around and I found my iPod).

Do you know how hard it is to reach anyone without a cell phone? Seriously, I should really start memorizing people's phone numbers.

Well, I guess this is a big enough sign to let me know that I didn't need to see Sir again. But really, I would have taken a phone call. "Hey, no need to pick me up. I'll catch a taxi." And all would have been well. Needless to say, he felt awful. But, uh, I think I should leave Sir alone... for now...

Monday, June 4, 2012

"before my life flies by"

For the first time, in a long time, I actually woke up this morning and went straight outside to take a walk. I haven't done my morning walk routine in a really long time and I realize I actually miss it. Sure, it started raining and I spent the last half of my walk running through the rain. But that was all part of the fun of it. I need to be outside more, I need to slow down and take the time to just exist.

Bet you never thought you'd hear me saying I need to slow down. Usually, I'm always looking for some excitement in my life, some action, some adventure. Anything really. But recently it's just been one issue after another; with work and hair shows, or working with kids at the church, or dealing with the suddenly steady inflow of guys who won't leave me alone. I can't even say guys, more like beasts. That's not nice... you're right. Okay, guys.

It bothers me that I can't control who decides to be interested in me and who is not. But isn't that the dilemma of every woman? Why is it that the guys I'm interested in always want some other girl, and the guys who I don't want are always attracted to me? It doesn't make any sense, really. But it's just one reason why I'm really glad I went on a walk this morning. I can figure out how to deal with all of them.

Friday, June 1, 2012

"flame out or fly"

Sir is supposed to come visit me next week! You all remember Sir, right? He's been my on-again-off-again crush for the last 4 years. You'd think I'd have done something with these feelings, but no, they just come and go.

But I never forget. And that seems to be the problem. When he pops up, I'm like "Yay! I love him!" When he goes away, I'm like "Awww! Oh well, I'll get over it." But its deep. Every time. I feel like he just won't go away, he just stays in the background irritating me.

So I texted him he should visit me in Atlanta, and he Skype'd me. And I really do like talking to him, but damn, I can't keep doing this to myself. Apparently there's some conference/event/meet/group/something happening in Atlanta next weekend and he's decided he wants to come to Atlanta. So obviously I had to offer my house for him to stay in. I don't know what exactly I'm expecting on this trip... that's a lie, I know exactly what I'm expecting. I just need to be realistic with myself and step out of my fantasy for one weekend. But a girl can dream. I guess I'll see what happens when/if he comes.

The only negative about the situation is that it happens to be the same weekend that my best friend is getting married. So I'll only really get to see him for two days before I take off for California. But I only need 2 days for my plan to work. I can make him fall in love with me in 2 days right? Or at the very least, I can create a really strong foundation. I suppose it should be partially created by now though. At least I hope. Wish me luck.

I just want us to be an adorable black couple. Is that too much to ask?

Sunday, May 20, 2012

"it's a beautiful night"

I wanted to paint my nails a beautiful shade of green. Then I thought of this whole ombre nail color thing that seems to be increasing in popularity. At the very least, increasing in popularity on my list of things I like. So I watch a couple youtube videos, studied a couple of pictures and produced my own personal ombre nails.

Unfortunately, I don't think I really have the right to call them ombre nails because I kinda failed epicly. I guess it really does matter what kind of polish you use. I seemed to only get one different shade and then it just refused to get any lighter. But I'm going to keep trying. I have many colors to practice this technique on. And then maybe later I can try a new style. Oh, side note, I swear that hand in the first picture, with the orange/pink shade nails, belongs to Sumatra. Please confirm.

I'll need to perfect it in time for the big event I'm attending in 3 weeks. My best friend in getting married! I'm so excited for her! But more importantly, I'm excited that I get to go to my first wedding where I actually personally know the bride and groom.

What should I wear (I don't want to upstage the bride, you know)? What gift should I bring? I want to bring something actually useful. That means no toasters or other kitchen appliances, right? I'll have to really think about this one. I can't wait to see her again. It's too bad the trip is going to be really short. I'm only able to stay the weekend, but I'll make sure it's a super fun weekend! Congrats Babycakes, I'm really happy for you!

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

vintage party

Well goodbye April. It was lovely while it lasted. As sorry as I am to see April go, I am just slightly a bit glad that it's May. That's one month closer to summer, which means I get a new wardrobe! I've spent a little time researching new styles. I'm looking into different era type clothing. But I'm still trying to figure out what my style will be.

The Salon is throwing a vintage party and I'm expected to wear vintage clothing. The main problem: I don't have any vintage clothing and I certainly don't know how to shop for vintage. So I've been doing a lot of Google searching into vintage clothing in order to put something together. Apparently, skipping this party is not an option for me. But I really couldn't even identify vintage if it was staring me in the face. I have no clue what I'm going to do.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

"i spoil everything!"

I had the pleasure of watching Hunger Games recently and it was just as amazing as I heard it would be. Of course I went in there having never read the book or really knowing anything about the movie except the basic idea that a bunch of kids get thrown into a death match.

Then I watched my fave YouTuber, Michael Buckley, do a recap of the movie and it was so funny that I had to share it. Now beware this is a recap so, SPOILER ALERT, SPOILER ALERT. I spoil everything! Plus it's way funnier if you've already seen the movie, because everything just makes sense. Enjoy!

Friday, April 6, 2012

"we'll be a dream"

It has been all smiles and crazy screaming, running around the house, yelling "It's my birthday! Its my birthday!" all week long. Yes, my friends, yesterday was my birthday and it was awesome!

No I actually did not do anything. At all. Nothing. In fact, I spent the entire morning of my birthday sitting in Firestone waiting to get my car fixed, only to have them tell me its time to trade it in. Poor baby, he didn't even get to make the trip to Disney World. Well, not yet...

Anyway, this whole week I've been doing birthday activities. I kinda spread everything out instead of trying to make April 5th one special day packed with activities. Last Saturday, I went out clubbing, looking as sexy as ever (obviously). The next day, I went to Six Flags and spent the day eating cotton candy, Dipping Dots and trying to keep my eyes open on the roller coasters. I got a summer pass, so I'll definitely be doing that again soon.

Unfortunately, yesterday it was super miserable outside and the sun decided to go on vacation, so I didn't really go out much. I was supposed to go the movies, but I realized there's no movies out now that I want to see. And I've already seen Hunger Games so there's that.

I got a text from Sir which really surprised me. And of course now I'm here reflecting on how I (still) feel about the man. When I don't think about him, its like he doesn't exist. But once I start thinking about him, it's like, "Aw, I DID really like him." But once again, lets try NOT to get into that, again.

Back to my birthday! As soon as this weather clears up, I'm going to Six Flags again, maybe I'll go to the movies and see Mirror Mirror and then there's a party on Sunday to wrap up my week of birthday activities. Honestly it was fun while it lasted. Being 23 feels absolutely and completely the SAME as being 22. Ha, I guess the jokes on me because I was supposed to be married by now. Oops.

Happy 23rd birthday to me!

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

"looking good and feeling gorgeous"

Okay, I did it! I just spent $100 on Zumba DVDs. Lord knows if I don't workout, I just failed epicly.

Let's all pray I can have some self motivation and do it. I need some celebrity inspirations...

You know I'm always hesitant to get too excited about any of my new adventures, because, well, I have them so often. I never really know how long it's going to last. But I'm daring to get a little excited over this one. Who knows, maybe this will actually be the one that sticks.

And with spring in the air and my birthday next week, I need to be looking my best for all the reggae and african club nights I'm about to attend. Seriously, I've already bought my outfits and they're all about a size too small.

Of course I'm not expecting to fit them in time for my birthday celebration, but summertime should be a new adventure. But no worries, my bday outfit is sexier than sexy. You know I look good!

Monday, March 26, 2012

"girl look at that body"

I'm debating with myself whether I should I buy the Zumba dvd set and join in on the Zumba craze. Granted it's a bit late, but I figure I can join in any time.

I'm just extremely tired and bored of running and I really want to do something else that will serve the same function. Exercise is certainly not my favorite thing to do, but unfortunately I'm not one of those people who can eat whatever they like and never gain weight.

It takes a lot of work to stay this sexy. And unfortunately, I have a secret love affair with food.

Actually, it's really not so secret...

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

"am i in one of your music videos?"

I've been so busy working I didn't even realize that it's March and that means the Kid's Choice Awards are coming up! Now obviously this is something quite exciting for me because I'm basically a 12 year girl living in a twenty-something year old girl's body. 

So I had to go online and zone out on Kid's Choice promo videos on Youtube. After the day I just had at work, it was nice to slip back into my childish fantasy land. 

I do love the Kid's Choice Awards. And the new host for 2012!

Thursday, March 8, 2012

"say bye bye"

I think I'm done.

This blog has been a savior for me in some of the worst times of my life. I loved having a place to recount all the endless details of how mundane, irritating, menial, redundant and just plain ridiculous my life was. But that time has passed. And I realize that I'm not that same person anymore. I'm in a different place in my life and I'm experiencing different things.

Basically the main purpose for creating this blog no longer exists. I don't need to rant to myself about myself any longer. I don't need a public forum to pour out all my frustrations about life anymore. I feel like the time has come for me to close this chapter of my blogging life and start a new chapter. A new blog.

I've been thinking about whether I should just shut down this blog and start a new one completely from scratch, or if I should just reformat this one and make it completely new. Either way, the old blog will be gone and a new creation will emerge in its place. I haven't quite worked out the details of what I will write about, but you can be sure it'll probably be more of my creative side.

I want to write about songs and movies. I want to share my poetry, my photography, my cardboard creations. I want to do book reviews. I want to write a short story, hell, I want to write a novel. I want to talk clothes, and shoes, and jewelry. Makeup, weight loss, sex, recipes, nail polish, hair styles, weddings, you name it.

I want to talk imagination, inspiration and creativity. It's about time I changed things up. Personally, I was getting a little bored.
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...