I've been reading a lot of different styles of poetry lately and I love the way poets use language. It was my love for language that made want to major in business and get into advertisement. Now that I have all the time in the world (because let's face it, I have no life) I find myself doing a shitload of thinking and self reflection, contemplation, call it what you must. But I've just been thinking about language and this blog and how much I want to put into it but can't because I can't find the words, or the right words to express it. 
Being able to manipulate language and use it to persuade, or convince or explain anything is a powerful tool. Language is something people underestimate all the time. But people are brainwashed by the power of words everyday. People are emotionally bound by their promises. We get in fights over "he said, she said" all the time. Imagine the simple phrase "I love you," and all the drama it can start (or end). It's the words and what they convey to people. It's the language and the way we use it that makes its so powerful. It's the reason I love it so much. That I would spend hours studying it and reading other people's words. It's the reason why language means so much to me and why a simple song or poem can make me cry. I get struck by the beauty in language everyday.
I've chosen my passion, and I want to be able to manipulate language in that same way. I want to more imagery, more emotion; I want a clear vision of what I am to come across in my words. I want a story, as vague and as detailed as it needs to be to define me. I want me and myself to be in those words and to come out with every word that you read. I want to be able to evoke every emotion. I want to show you what it's like inside a crazy.
I want you to fight for me.
Don’t give up on me just because it’s hard to get through the first layer.
These layers were built to protect what’s inside,
To protect from emotions held too hard.
Year after year I’ve built layer upon layer,
Upon layer upon layer
Of caution, suspicion, and doubt.
There’s not a person on earth that I trust with my feelings.
But I want to trust you.
I want you to care enough to fight me back.
Fight to know what I really think.
Fight to know how I really feel.
Fight to know me,
The real me and everything underneath.
I want someone real.
Someone who doesn’t mind getting a little dirty,
Who doesn’t mind if I get mad and yell.
I want you to yell back
Don’t hold back.
I’m not fragile, I’m not even sheltered.
I just need a little reassurance.
Reassurance that you care,
That you won’t be bothered by digging a little deeper.
I want you to find me fascinating.
Charming, alluring, mesmerizing.
A mystery you want to solve.
A conundrum, a riddle, an amazing little puzzle.
But don’t get bored.
Oh please don’t be bored.
It’s a delicate balance, I know.
I’m sorry it’s so hard.
But I’m willing to change, if you’re willing to push.
