Tuesday, June 12, 2012

"so we've become so cinematic"

It's crazy how you can plan every moment of every second together and still not have everything you imagined in your mind. This past weekend was supposed to end wonderfully and be filled with loving goodness; but alas, all did not go according to plan.

So as you all know, Sir came to visit me this weekend. I picked him up from the airport, he stayed at my house, we hung out, caught up on each other's lives, I showed him around Atlanta. Wednesday, Thursday and Friday he was all mine. And I loved it. Saturday he was at his hotel and attended his greek events he came out here for. I figured I should see him one more time before he left, so I offered to drive him to the airport on Sunday.

Apparently that was a bad move.

I ended up in a car accident before I even picked him up. It was raining that morning, the steering wheel started shaking and the car wheels refused to follow where I turned. So instead of turning as I should have, the car continued to drive straight and started sliding in the rain. I hit the wall on the side of the road and my car flipped over. Sitting in the car, upside down, I found a way to crawl out the window (yay for seat belts!). Unfortunately, my phone flew out of the car along with my iPod and purse. The paramedics recovered my purse but the phone and iPod were still missing.

I'm surprised to have gotten out of the car without a scratch on me. I went to the hospital just to get checked out; my only injuries were a bump on the head and scratch on my finger. Thank you, Jesus. Well, my car is gone, my phone is gone, (I later went back to the site of the crash to look around and I found my iPod).

Do you know how hard it is to reach anyone without a cell phone? Seriously, I should really start memorizing people's phone numbers.

Well, I guess this is a big enough sign to let me know that I didn't need to see Sir again. But really, I would have taken a phone call. "Hey, no need to pick me up. I'll catch a taxi." And all would have been well. Needless to say, he felt awful. But, uh, I think I should leave Sir alone... for now...

Monday, June 4, 2012

"before my life flies by"

For the first time, in a long time, I actually woke up this morning and went straight outside to take a walk. I haven't done my morning walk routine in a really long time and I realize I actually miss it. Sure, it started raining and I spent the last half of my walk running through the rain. But that was all part of the fun of it. I need to be outside more, I need to slow down and take the time to just exist.

Bet you never thought you'd hear me saying I need to slow down. Usually, I'm always looking for some excitement in my life, some action, some adventure. Anything really. But recently it's just been one issue after another; with work and hair shows, or working with kids at the church, or dealing with the suddenly steady inflow of guys who won't leave me alone. I can't even say guys, more like beasts. That's not nice... you're right. Okay, guys.

It bothers me that I can't control who decides to be interested in me and who is not. But isn't that the dilemma of every woman? Why is it that the guys I'm interested in always want some other girl, and the guys who I don't want are always attracted to me? It doesn't make any sense, really. But it's just one reason why I'm really glad I went on a walk this morning. I can figure out how to deal with all of them.

Friday, June 1, 2012

"flame out or fly"

Sir is supposed to come visit me next week! You all remember Sir, right? He's been my on-again-off-again crush for the last 4 years. You'd think I'd have done something with these feelings, but no, they just come and go.

But I never forget. And that seems to be the problem. When he pops up, I'm like "Yay! I love him!" When he goes away, I'm like "Awww! Oh well, I'll get over it." But its deep. Every time. I feel like he just won't go away, he just stays in the background irritating me.

So I texted him he should visit me in Atlanta, and he Skype'd me. And I really do like talking to him, but damn, I can't keep doing this to myself. Apparently there's some conference/event/meet/group/something happening in Atlanta next weekend and he's decided he wants to come to Atlanta. So obviously I had to offer my house for him to stay in. I don't know what exactly I'm expecting on this trip... that's a lie, I know exactly what I'm expecting. I just need to be realistic with myself and step out of my fantasy for one weekend. But a girl can dream. I guess I'll see what happens when/if he comes.

The only negative about the situation is that it happens to be the same weekend that my best friend is getting married. So I'll only really get to see him for two days before I take off for California. But I only need 2 days for my plan to work. I can make him fall in love with me in 2 days right? Or at the very least, I can create a really strong foundation. I suppose it should be partially created by now though. At least I hope. Wish me luck.

I just want us to be an adorable black couple. Is that too much to ask?
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