"when you said goodbye, my whole world shines"

Hello lovelies. It's time for the annual blog reboot, where I post about 3 times and then disappear for another year. I hope you all missed me and were desperately awaiting my return. Well, wait no longer! I have returned. New, fresh, happy, and perhaps with a story or two under my sleeve...

Spring semester of my second year in law school has been spectacular. First semester was a new experience. I decided to branch out and take classes by myself. I didn't want to be tied to anyone for any reason. I've pretty much decided to fly solo from here on out. So I chose my schedule and relished in the "new-ness" of it all. Riding the bus alone, taking the train alone, walking to the schoolhouse alone. It was all... perfect. I actually enjoyed it. Completely. I don't know why I never did this before. But alas, all good things must come to an end.


But not this one! I did it again this semester. All classes by myself. I've made new acquaintances at school. You know what, let's call them what they are. Classmates. Now that I'm starting to focus my studies on the kind of law I want to practice, I'm beginning to see the same classmates in most of my classes. So I've met my new classmates and Ive begun to build relationships with them in the schoolhouse. I don't need to worry about them once I leave that building. They don't exist until I re-enter that building again the next day. I need all my relationships to be like that. Well, except for my super close ones. I still love my friends. They all know who they are and that will never change.

As for everybody else... Sigh, on to the next one.

Boston days have been quite lovely. This is quite the mild winter. I'm hoping the snows come soon. It snowed today, but I expect it to be gone by Sunday. It's nothing a little sun couldn't fix, and we've had plenty of sun these past couple days. Yes, I expect the bright and sunny glorious days will return. I'll sit here, lounging and enjoying my life. Because life is good.

"i need another story, something to get off my chest"

Suit found out about my blog. I wasn’t necessarily hiding it from him, I just never mentioned it and expected to keep it that way. But by chance he needed to check his email on my computer and noticed I had an email address he’d never seen before. So of course, next came the questions: What is it for? Who do you give it to? Why were you hiding it? Why can’t I know about it? And on and on and on….

Now I’ve never lied to this man, and I’m not about to start now, so when he asked about “Sage” and who I’m talking to under that name, I told him about my blog. He wasn’t very pleased. I tried to explain what it is to me; to explain how it’s like an online diary. I told him I wasn’t hiding anything from him, that everything I write about is stories I’ve already told him first hand. I just add my own emotions and wishes, and comedy to it.

He still was quite unhappy with me.

I’ve been trying to wrap my head around why this bothered him so much, and why he couldn’t just accept that I have an online presence that he never knew about. And then I figured it out. It was because HE NEVER KNEW ABOUT IT. If I had told him I had a blog in which I write under a pseudonym, maybe he wouldn’t have been so bothered by it.

I told him I wasn’t going to show him the blog because I didn’t want him to read it. Not because I was hiding anything, but because I feel like I should have a private place (“private” because none of you know who I am) to share my thoughts and stories and laughter with myself. Keeping everything in my head is a good way for me to forget the fabulousness that is sometimes my life. And when I get older, I want to look back and remember exactly how I felt at whatever moment.

He doesn’t care that I have a blog, I don’t think he even cares what I write about, he’s just mad because he didn’t know about it. And I can understand that. I didn’t tell him about it because I didn’t want him to read it. Now I know he would have been fine not reading it, as long as he knew it existed.

So, now that he knows about it, I’m contemplating if I should show him the blog. Just a gesture of faith so he knows I really have a blog and not some online dating profile. This is me tryin to be nice. I’m not embarrassed by what I’ve written, nor have I written anything negative about him. And if I did, then he could have a moment to see how I see him, so that would really be a bonus to him. Decisions, decisions...

Let’s see how I feel tomorrow.

"now i'm passing the bar, like a lawyer"

This has been the LONGEST week ever. The first week of my summer legal internship in Atlanta has gone slower than my first week of law school.

The average first year legal intern most likely will be subject to a lot of filing of paperwork. I thank God that my internship is different. The attorney actually gives me real work to do. On my first day, he had me writing motions and client letters.

Really? You sure? You're just going to hand it to me, just like that? Oh, okay.... Good luck, Sage....

Well, at least he gave me copies of all the old letters and versions of motions they have written, so I had a makeshift template to work from. But, seriously, talk about just throwing you into the mix. No warning, just go, and do.

I haven't filed a single folder all week. And thank heavens for that. I'm very much okay with it, although, sometimes I do kind of wish I had a little filing to do. At least, then when the attorney doesn't give me an assignment, or when he is in court, I'll have back up work to keep me busy.

It tickles me every morning I come in and the attorney, or the paralegal I also work under asks me, "What are you working on?" Uh, you haven't given me an assignment, so what would I be working on? When I get those moments when I finish my assigned work and I wonder what I'm supposed to do next, I always feel bad asking what they would like me to do next. I don't want to keep going into their office fishing for more work to do, but I don't want to get caught sitting around doing nothing on my computer. Dilemmas, dilemmas. I just want work to keep finding its way to me.

But in general, the internship is going really well. I work on family law and personal injury cases, which are actually quite fascinating in real life (as opposed to in a textbook). People are a trip.

Hopefully as summer continues, it'll start to pick up the pace. Still waiting for the day I get to go to court. Soon come.

"i swear i had it up to here, i got no ceilings to go"

Summer time. Never fails to cheer me up. Two weeks into my summer vacation and 1 day into my new legal internship. Life isn't so bad.

I've been taking a lot of time to re-evaluate my life, as I tend to do from time to time. Apart from that tiny blow up of depression I displayed in my last post, I think I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life.

I'm moving forward in my career, actually doing something that might put millions in my pocket.  I'm moving forward in my love life, Suit is the most wonderful, amazing and loving man I know. And he makes life absolute BLISS. I'm moving forward with my fitness goals, getting in the best shape of my life.

I just feel like I'm finally accomplishing things. And I would hate for me to read this blog in the future and only remember the sadness I felt because a few friends made me feel some type of way.

So I've pulled myself out of the situation. I've doused the fire. I've taken a detour away from that road. I've moved on. In the words of Big Sean, "I don't fuck with you! I got a million trillion things I'd rather fucking do, than to be fucking with you."

My next post will be relevant.

"you never took the time to know me, because of you now I'm just a lonely man"

Hello again. I know its been a while, almost a year actually. I hate to start my fresh blogging days with a downer but I've been feeling some type of way and I remembered that blogging was the one thing that made me feel better when I was dangerously close to being depressing back in undergrad.

Well, blogging and food and Disney. But as a first-year law student (you remember that don't you?), I'm too broke to afford things like food, or TV.

Oh yes, I'm arriving at my final days as a first-year. This is finals week and I'm already off to a great start: Civil Procedure, Criminal law, Constitutional law, Property law, Contracts, and so much more. My head spins with how much work I still have left to do studying for these finals.

But of course "school" has never been my problem. "People" are my problem. And these damn emotions I can never seem to get a handle on whenever people let me down. I thought I had friends, but I don't think that's a true statement any longer. At least, not from where I'm standing. Let me start from the beginning.

As usual, I make 2 friends. They are good friends, close, we share a lot. It takes a while for me to get close to people, so once I make these 2 friends, I get comfortable because I feel as if I've found people who will really appreciate our friendship. I'm a very quiet person, as you all should know, until we become friends, then I'm not so quiet. But that's just me. It was me, Libra and Gemini, the three of us were perfect. A nice blend of personalities that would really hold strong for my 3 years in law school.

At least I thought so. We used to make plans TOGETHER. All three of us, together. We'd have study groups, visit new restaurants, get our nails done, watch movies, go grocery shopping, and pretty much everything else. But recently, instead of "let's go Wal-mart," or "let's study at Libra's house," its "we're going to the store, do you want to come?" or "I'm going to Libra's house," or "We're going to get our nails done." No more plans made together. And in my head I'm thinking, when did you guys make these plans and why wasn't I included. Why do I now have to be invited to attend? There's a wall of separation and I don't feel included in the group anymore. Its no longer an all inclusive "we're going," but a exclusive "We're going. Do you want to come?" Since when did I get kicked out of the "we're"? Then after a while, the invites stopped coming too.

I don't know if that even makes sense, but that is the way I feel. Like my friends just bonded to each other and no longer think of me as part of them. We aren't a group of three any more. Now its a group of two and then me. And I do not do well being excluded. I felt the exact same way in undergrad and I do NOT want to go through that again. It's been four years since I left undergrad back in CA. Now I'm in law school on the East Coast and I can't revert back to feeling how I felt then. I just can't, it's not fair.

I just want one friend who cares about me, who notices when I'm not being my usual self, who pushes until they figure out why something's changed, who cares if I'm not there, who doesn't ignore me, who doesn't pretend like I don't exist. I don't want to continue to feel awkward when all three of use hang out, because I'm beginning to feel like a 3rd wheel with them. My face keeps no secrets and I can't hide that I'm sad. And when I get sad, my face looks mad and then they think they should just ignore me until I get better. Well I'm not going to get better like that! That only makes it worse because I feel like they just don't care that I look pissed!

I don't want to spend the next 2 years trying to make them be my friends. So that means I'll have to spend it alone, or I make new friends. And since friends just don't seem to work out for me, I'll just stop trying. I'll just make acquaintances and law school colleagues, but I don't think I can make any more friends. It just hurts too much when they let you down, and I hate being depressed.

I just feel so alone.

"do you want to build a snowman?"

I just thought this was pretty cool. I almost want to see these girls actually play these roles. I only recognize a few of these ladies though. Perhaps you guys can help me fill in the rest of them.

I see Rihanna, Beyonce, Shay Mitchell, Shailene Woodley, Jennifer Lopez, and Kristen Stewart. Who do you see?

"and all that jazz"

I am obsessed with New Orleans.  I've never been in such a party city in my life. Of course there's Vegas, but you can't get such rich history in Vegas. You can't get amazingly fresh seafood cooked cajun or creole style. You can't walk up and down an entire neighborhood and party in every corner.

No, Vegas doesn't compare to New Orleans. (Although I love Vegas too, but that's another story). This is about New Orleans, and how I cannot wait to go back.


So I spent my 25th birthday in New Orleans! Happy birthday to me! I've started a new tradition of visiting a new city every year for my birthday. I can't tell you how much I enjoyed this city. Such a beautiful place. My hotel was located right next to where all the action was. No need for a car, I walked everywhere I went.

All day, all I did was eat and drink. From morning to evening. New Orleans is a very laid back city. The culture is one that embraces such a lifestyle. You literally just hang out, get something to eat and have a drink. My kind of city.

Now that I've been to New Orleans though, I know I could never live there. There's just too many temptations for me and I don't want the novelty to wear off. So unfortunately that cancels Tulane University as a potential law school for me to attend this fall. Ah well!


I'll definitely be going back. Until then, I'm looking for the next party city that I need to visit. I actually have an entire list of party cities all over the world that are a must for me to visit.

So I can cross New Orleans off that list. On to the next one!

"shooting off a flare across the sky"

I'm looking forward to so many new things in my life. I can't even believe I'm where I am now. Couple years ago I was graduating from college ready to just take a break from school and work wherever I could get a job. Now I'm so tired of working and I really just want to go back to school.

Looks like I got my wish!

You are officially reading the blog of a law school student! Yay! Finally, after all these years, I have finished applications and have received decisions back from schools. By August, I should be enrolled in one of the many fine law schools in this country. I haven't decided which one yet, because I'm still waiting to hear back from a few schools. But once I make my decision, I will certainly let you guys know which new city I will call home. But for now, I can certainly say my days in Atlanta are numbered. Goodbye Georgia!

Law school. Sounds like so much work right? Honestly, I'm ready for it. Its going to an epic amount of studying, researching, reading, writing, and networking, but I cannot wait for this new chapter to begin. So many times I've spoken of being stuck and not knowing where to go from here. But I'm finding my direction. The destination was always there, I just couldn't quite find the road. So now that I've found it, I'm excited to start driving.

Law School. Wow.

"i'll say a thousand words or more"

Happy New Year! I hope everyone had a wonderful transition into the new year. I certainly did. Nothing too special, I went to the crossover service at my church, then went to a friend's house for some dancing. It wasn't exactly a grand rocking new year's eve, but I enjoyed myself.

Of course it's a new year and its pretty much obligatory for everyone to come up with some "new year new me" goal and such. So who am I to deny myself such a tradition? I do, however, have a track record of failing at every and all new year resolutions I make, so, I will make this as easy on myself as possible. This year I only have one resolution:

I will write at least one blog post a month.

There! Simple, easy, direct. Nothing too difficult about that, right? I think I should be able to manage that. I just really want to get back into blogging regularly this year. I love having a record of my experiences and how I felt about them. I don't want an entire year to go by and I have no idea what I even did. This blog is pretty much a roadmap of my life. It showcases everything I've done (or at least the important parts that I feel like sharing) and reminds me what more I have to look forward to.

So that's my plan. Be a better writer. Be a more consistent writer. Be a true blogger. Wish me luck!

Happy New Year everyone!

"when you learn to love, ain't nothing but love"

There's a new guy in my life. And I feel like I'm screwed.

(For those who care, I ended up never meeting the last guy. Who saw that coming? Me.)

So new guy, I'll need to come up with a name for him. In the meantime New Guy will work. We met in church. He tricked me into a date. I say "tricked" even though I walked right into it knowing it probably was a set up. I was invited to a group movie night. Then one by one everyone started dropping out. I found out later that he asked everyone else not to come. I mean, if he went to all that trouble, the least I could do was show up right? Right! And so I went. We watched a movie, had dinner. The typical date, right? We've been hanging out pretty regularly since then. That was about a month ago.

So, why am I screwed? Well I guess apparently it's reached that point where he wants me to open up to him and tell him what I'm thinking, and blah blah blah. For me, this is usually where the relationship ends because, well, I just can't do that. Of course I told him as much and of course he says, "Well you're going to have to open up to someone eventually." And well maybe that is true, but who says it has to be???

Fine, this could just be me being stubborn, but honestly, I don't know what you want me to say. Anyway, this is my big dilemma and I'm sure at some point I'll figure it out. But it would really help if I could find a guy who could just learn me enough to read my mind. Is that too much to ask for? No really, is it?

"this is the start of something good, don't you agree?"

Dating has got to be the most ridiculous experience in life. Maybe ridiculous is the wrong word... irritating, perhaps. Yes, dating has got to be one of the most irritating experiences in life. Having dinner,  going to the movies, taking a walk in the park, etc with an almost, for all intents and purposes, complete stranger? Ugh, I'm so tired of it. And yet, I still do it...

Truthfully, I don't even know how to be a girlfriend. Not the slightest clue. And I already come with some serious defects to the relationship. Hate talking on the phone, love being a homebody. I'm quiet until you really get to know me. OR you have to meet in a group of friends because then I'm automatically comfortable.  

But right, this is about me not knowing how to be girlfriend. Yes, I guess I just missed that class in high school (or is it offered in middle school now?) where everyone learned how to be boyfriend/girlfriend and live a happy normal life. Yeah, I must have missed it. I was among the few kids who were "not allowed to date, until you're married!" Yes, I understand the irony. Nobody thought that rule out, I can assure you.

So I never really had a boyfriend until I got to college. My first (real) relationship wasn't exactly a failure, but I certainly wouldn't call it a success. Turns out my biggest issue is communication! Huh, who'd a thunk it??? Me, have communication issues? NEVER! But alas, it IS true. I'm actually a horrible communicator... at least in the real world.

Online you have time to think it out and make sure everything you say (write) comes out exactly the way you wish it. But in real life, saying certain things, talking about certain things just isn't quite as easy for me. My sisters always harass me about not being able to open up and say what I'm thinking. "Why do I always have to drag it out of you?" Or, "Why do you make me ask you so many questions? Just say what you want to say!" I guess I'm just not one to talk about myself.

Don't get me wrong. I can hold a conversation and talk about anything with anyone. And I love myself so obviously I have no qualms talking about myself. I just tend to shy away from talking about myself on a more personal level. My family, my work, my friends, easy subjects. My feelings, not so much.

Which brings me back to my relationships. Apparently, you need to be able to talk about yourself on a personal level with your boyfriend. And he actually might care if he realizes he doesn't know anything about how you feel. So how do I work on growing in that area? Dive into another relationship and get some practice? Talk to my sisters a little more, see if that works out? Have emotional, drawn out, thoughtful conversations with myself in the bathroom mirror? I don't know. I need help.

In the meantime, I'm still dating.

"all this time i've been waiting, oh i cannot grieve anymore"

Holy crap! I have failed MISERABLY as a blogger. I don't even think I'm allowed to call myself a blogger any more. It seems one post every couple months is the best I can do in life. I just don't understand why I can't seem to be consistent with this shit. I swear one day I'm going to get it together. Really, I will. I promise....

"we stole our new lives, thru blood and pain"

After the hustle and bustle of the holidays, my house has finally returned to its original setting: silence. For the last 3 weeks I've had the excitement of my 2 older sisters visiting from California, my 2 younger brothers returning from college, and my father in from Nigeria. It's been a full house. But alas, that time has now ended, and it's just my mother and I again. I guess I should get back to reality and depart from my vacation dream world. Ugh.

I'm going to work tomorrow. And for the first time in a really long time, I'm not dreading the morning. I'm looking forward to it. With my January Resolutions in "go mode," I've felt really productive these last couple of days. I think I can keep it up till the end of January.

"find light in the beautiful sea, i choose to be happy"

Well hello there New Year!

Usually I am mighty excited about new years and I could go on and on about some fresh start and getting my life together and going after what I want and being a new person and all my goals and blah blah blah. But this year I've had an epiphany. Yes everyone, I have realized something very important and vital about new years: they lie.

A new year promises to be filled with unexplored adventures, undiscovered dreams and unrealized potential. But by February I can't even remember what my New Years Resolutions were. All that joyous expectation I had for the year eventually dies out about 4 weeks in and then what am I supposed to do with the other 48 weeks in the year?

So this year I've decided to do something different. I've made no new years resolutions, instead I made a January Resolution. I've simply crafted a list of things I would like to accomplish in January. By reducing my "year" down to a month, I can make sure every month of the year I am accomplishing my goals.

So without further ado, here are my January Resolutions:

January Resolutions
1. Pick and read one inspirational book
2. Work out every morning
3. Write a blog post twice a week
4. Apply to 4 jobs a week
5. Save up $1000 in a "rainy day" account

I figure that's simple enough to start out with, right?

On another note, unfortunately I did not get the job I applied to at my old high school. After a rigorous interviewing process, they chose someone else. So I guess I'll be living in good old Atlanta for a little bit longer... No worries, I can handle that. I know good things are coming soon for me.

But I hope everyone had a wonderful New Years partying, drinking, and bonding with family and friends. I sure did!

"i've got a world of chances for you"

I took a chance and put in a job application with my high school back in California. I've been saying that I need to start looking for a new job for a while now, so I guess this is my start. I don't necessarily want to move back to CA, but I have absolutely no problem moving back either. I welcome leaving or staying. I think there are a lot of opportunities available to me here in Atlanta and back home in California. I just need that foot in the door with a new job to jumpstart me again.

I take a lot of time to come here and rant and rave about my irritations regarding my life, my job, my family, my friends, my loves, (or lack there of). And its those moments that really propel me to the next.  I couldn't move on and be happy with my life if I didn't first let go of everything that bothers me while I live it. Most of my anger is fleeting. Most of my annoyance is short lived. A lot of my emotions are reoccurring, but isn't everyone like that? Every once in a while you may see a really hateful, maybe even downright bitchy post of mine that will make you say, "Whoa! Wtf happened to her?!" But rest assured I'm fine. I probably got over whatever issue pissed me off the second I typed the last exclamation point in my post.

So with that being said, I can't wait to really see what new job grabs my attention next. I always love meeting new challenges. Speaking of which, I've gone back to the challenge of online dating. Yes, I know, I've done this before. But it was so fun (and I'm just bored enough) that I decided to try it again. Wish me luck!

"if you could just write me out"

I came to work this morning expecting more of the same as the last 2 weeks. Absolutely nothing. The Salon has been extremely slow these past couple weeks and it's really starting to agitate me. I hate coming to work and making no money.

Seriously, what's the purpose of working if I'm not getting paid. This is something my bosses don't quite seem to understand yet. I think they have some sort of idea that they have done me a favor by giving me a job and I should be grateful just to get out of the house everyday and sit in their salon.

They are sadly mistaken.

I would much rather stay in my house than drive 30 minutes away to do nothing. There are so many art projects I'm missing out on because I don't have the time any more to lounge around and wrap baskets, or cut cardboard, or glue some other shit. Which was completely fine with me when I was making money. But now, I may just need to get my ass back on that job search grind and find a new job.

Oddly enough, I really don't want to do that because I actually like my job. And I'm almost 100% certain that I'm the only one at The Salon who can say that honestly. I love being a stylist. It's awesome. What is NOT awesome is all the backstage, behind the scenes, "corporate" drama that goes on. I could totally do without all of that. I understand now why people leave their jobs simply because their supervisors SUCK.

But other than all that, my life is wonderful! Sorry I haven't written in months, but I think I can say I'm back now and so totally committed to blogging. I have enough ammo to last my blogging mind for a few weeks worth of posts anyway. Thanks for not leaving me during my short "vacation"!

"but just one night couldn't be so wrong"

Everyone has those few things that make them happy for no apparent reason other than "I just like it." Recently, I've been indulging in a few quite regularly and it's actually beginning to border on obsession. These little guilty pleasures of mine are seriously becoming a problem. Who ever said you can't have too much of a good thing?

I've always been an avid reader. I read anything really, but recently I've been honed in and focused on erotic romance books. I can't seem to put them down. And it really doesn't help matters much that I have a Nook and an endless supply of free books with Barnes and Noble. Honestly, I've read 5 books in the past 2 weeks and I'm still working on this last one. No matter how many stories I find, there is always a new way to make two people coming together fantastic. I'll keep by bookshelf below updated so you can know what I'm reading.

As much as I enjoy reading these books, if I don't slow down soon, I'm going to end up missing all the deadlines for my grad school applications. As much as I want to find out if Bryn will escape and find her way back to William, I can't keep reading non-stop. Oh, but I so wish I could. Especially now that I don't have cable anymore.

I just don't understand why one issue always has to replace another. Before, I was too transfixed on television to focus on anything. So I cancelled my cable, and now I can't stop reading books. I just need one simple outlet that won't turn into a full fledged obsession! I guess I've always been an obsessive kind of person. From books, to tv, to men, to friends, to family. I obsess, a LOT.

But it's adorable, I swear!

"so we've become so cinematic"

It's crazy how you can plan every moment of every second together and still not have everything you imagined in your mind. This past weekend was supposed to end wonderfully and be filled with loving goodness; but alas, all did not go according to plan.

So as you all know, Sir came to visit me this weekend. I picked him up from the airport, he stayed at my house, we hung out, caught up on each other's lives, I showed him around Atlanta. Wednesday, Thursday and Friday he was all mine. And I loved it. Saturday he was at his hotel and attended his greek events he came out here for. I figured I should see him one more time before he left, so I offered to drive him to the airport on Sunday.

Apparently that was a bad move.

I ended up in a car accident before I even picked him up. It was raining that morning, the steering wheel started shaking and the car wheels refused to follow where I turned. So instead of turning as I should have, the car continued to drive straight and started sliding in the rain. I hit the wall on the side of the road and my car flipped over. Sitting in the car, upside down, I found a way to crawl out the window (yay for seat belts!). Unfortunately, my phone flew out of the car along with my iPod and purse. The paramedics recovered my purse but the phone and iPod were still missing.

I'm surprised to have gotten out of the car without a scratch on me. I went to the hospital just to get checked out; my only injuries were a bump on the head and scratch on my finger. Thank you, Jesus. Well, my car is gone, my phone is gone, (I later went back to the site of the crash to look around and I found my iPod).

Do you know how hard it is to reach anyone without a cell phone? Seriously, I should really start memorizing people's phone numbers.

Well, I guess this is a big enough sign to let me know that I didn't need to see Sir again. But really, I would have taken a phone call. "Hey, no need to pick me up. I'll catch a taxi." And all would have been well. Needless to say, he felt awful. But, uh, I think I should leave Sir alone... for now...

"before my life flies by"

For the first time, in a long time, I actually woke up this morning and went straight outside to take a walk. I haven't done my morning walk routine in a really long time and I realize I actually miss it. Sure, it started raining and I spent the last half of my walk running through the rain. But that was all part of the fun of it. I need to be outside more, I need to slow down and take the time to just exist.

Bet you never thought you'd hear me saying I need to slow down. Usually, I'm always looking for some excitement in my life, some action, some adventure. Anything really. But recently it's just been one issue after another; with work and hair shows, or working with kids at the church, or dealing with the suddenly steady inflow of guys who won't leave me alone. I can't even say guys, more like beasts. That's not nice... you're right. Okay, guys.

It bothers me that I can't control who decides to be interested in me and who is not. But isn't that the dilemma of every woman? Why is it that the guys I'm interested in always want some other girl, and the guys who I don't want are always attracted to me? It doesn't make any sense, really. But it's just one reason why I'm really glad I went on a walk this morning. I can figure out how to deal with all of them.

"we'll be a dream"

It has been all smiles and crazy screaming, running around the house, yelling "It's my birthday! Its my birthday!" all week long. Yes, my friends, yesterday was my birthday and it was awesome!

No I actually did not do anything. At all. Nothing. In fact, I spent the entire morning of my birthday sitting in Firestone waiting to get my car fixed, only to have them tell me its time to trade it in. Poor baby, he didn't even get to make the trip to Disney World. Well, not yet...

Anyway, this whole week I've been doing birthday activities. I kinda spread everything out instead of trying to make April 5th one special day packed with activities. Last Saturday, I went out clubbing, looking as sexy as ever (obviously). The next day, I went to Six Flags and spent the day eating cotton candy, Dipping Dots and trying to keep my eyes open on the roller coasters. I got a summer pass, so I'll definitely be doing that again soon.

Unfortunately, yesterday it was super miserable outside and the sun decided to go on vacation, so I didn't really go out much. I was supposed to go the movies, but I realized there's no movies out now that I want to see. And I've already seen Hunger Games so there's that.

I got a text from Sir which really surprised me. And of course now I'm here reflecting on how I (still) feel about the man. When I don't think about him, its like he doesn't exist. But once I start thinking about him, it's like, "Aw, I DID really like him." But once again, lets try NOT to get into that, again.

Back to my birthday! As soon as this weather clears up, I'm going to Six Flags again, maybe I'll go to the movies and see Mirror Mirror and then there's a party on Sunday to wrap up my week of birthday activities. Honestly it was fun while it lasted. Being 23 feels absolutely and completely the SAME as being 22. Ha, I guess the jokes on me because I was supposed to be married by now. Oops.

Happy 23rd birthday to me!